Just came back from tampanies...Went to accompany my sis to buy her suit for interview tml... In the end, she has to call mum to ask her to bring down her long sleeve shirt and pants to see whether they match... So, we have to make all the way back to pasir ris to meet our mum.Then my sis meet mum at the interchange while i stay in whitesand to wait while i shop for a while. Later, to realise that my mum is sick... so i ran all the way to interchange to accompany my mum home while my sis has to go all the way back to tampanies to buy her suit....
In the bus, my mum told me a lot of stuff... She say my sis is always last min... always go my grandparents house yet cant even settle her own work.. and this makes all the relatives think that my sis is very free, that they even bother to come and visit their own parents...and yet we as grandchildrens have to always go down to bring them just for walk. And the fact that they live so near and yet lazy, and we live at the other end have to visit them often and go home late... Then she says that we dun care about the housework, everything she do, yet we are not doing anything... I dun know how to answer her when she say this.. i mean, i help her out in housework during the holidays, i wash dishes at night after dinner, something i have to go and buy vegetable and things to cook for her... am i not helping enough? Maybe, i am really not contributing enough... So, I decided, everyday at 4 am i shall wake up and do all the housework, 5am, i shall do my exercise( skipping), then i shall go prepare breakfast and go bath and wash my clothes, then at 6am or 630 am i shall set off to sch... when i get home at 7.30pm, i shall wash the dishes, and bath and wash my clothes... This shall be my routine from now on... well.. if my mum still say that i am not helping and she is still very tired... i really have nothing to say... i mean... its not that only she is tired and busy... i am so busy and tired with my work.. its not easy in uni... i mean ... everyone out there should know how uni life is nowadays.. i am already very stressed with my work... and i have to worry about the house like is there any more money left, or is there still rice, toilet paper, tissue paper, still got food for cooking at home, morning got breakfast .... blah blah blah... Maybe my friends out there will see all these... but i wan to say something.. pls .. dun ask me what time i sleep.. and when i tell u all i have stayed up late at night... dun say that wah... u must be studying so hard... cos, i make sure i will slap ur mouth...
And my mum complained just now abt the transport fees that she has to spend to bring my sis clothes over to pasir ris.. well... my solution is... well since she is so concerned about her money... then i shall just eat bread or just any plain food for the rest of the years in uni... and i really mean it... so dun ask if i am trying to slim down.. i mean... i no longer bother abt my figure... i dun really care... people can talk all they wan abt my figure... say them all out... i curse them to have retribution on their own children.. dun talk as if they are very skinny... please people who say that i am fat are not skinny !! I curse.. i curse all the people out there who are having good life... with no worries, no obstacles... why are they leading such good life while i am not... this is not fair at all.. god is not fair at all.. or has he been fair to me in the first place.... i dun get it.. when i dun to lead the life that other lucky people are living... y am i have to listen to other people and follow what they say everytime... y do i have to sacrifice myself for others while they dun do the same for me... WHY!!! Why!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!
For i am the slave of life... I forever will be... till my days end... i will still be the slave and never the owner of my own fate..
