I suddenly have a feeling of breaking up with him... I really dun know what to do...
I just feel that i am still immature to go into a relationship and i still feel that I actually dun really love him as much... i think i love my father more... I feel bad when i dun contribute.. he is always the only one who is contributing... But seriously, i feel that he doesn't respect mi... He always pops out and say he wants to give me a surprise but i never like the idea. He always do tings without telling mi and he does things his own way... I feel like....
Anyway... i tink it's time for mi to tell him all these.... I feel very troubled and sad and i feel like breaking down... i just feel that my whole life is in a mess... i dun like the idea how i am leading my life now... Or rather... it's not even like a proper life... it's like a zombie... i have enough... i have not been doing things the way i want to be... and i feel that i dun enjoy a single shit i am doing...
I want to go nursing... i want to be PT.... I want to live in a land where there is no tears, no pain, no sufferings.... i want to go to my la la land... where i can find happiness.... in fact... i am not a little happy now... my life is in a mess.... i hate myself... i hate my work... i hate my life... God... who can help mi....